Yesterday, I was privileged to watch my baby girl well really not my baby girl; my beautiful young lady step into the next chapter of her life. She moved on her college campus. Just another reminder how fast time flies.
As much as I wanted to be the "cool parent" as they give you the versions in the college orientation, we dropped off her and two car loads of personal belongings, I was good on holding back on most opinions on how to make her dorm room work, did my best on holding back on shedding minimal tears, chalked one up on taking minimal pictures for minimal embarrassment; sum it all up, I was dying inside.
After leaving her dorm, got into the car and the tears came. Not from sadness but from the graciousness that we were her parents doing our job. Sometime good, sometimes not so good but in this instance our child had left the nest to do more in life. This is what we or I had ever strived for. A successful milestone was completed!
I have to say, I could not experience this with our first born. Yes, he left during the night of his eighteenth birthday as I woke up to a note. He stated he needed to be on his own, independent and referenced we were great parents. Kind of the same thing, right? Did we do our job as parents? Though the note he left stated he needed to be on his own and independent there still is a disconnect still to this day. We did not have preparation, no goodbye, nothing. Nothing ever has been truly communicated about his departure, the issue has been swept away. Well anyone reading this, knows sweeping away issues frivolously only causes bigger piles. With our daughter, my belief was nothing could feel any worse. I had already had felt pain, sadness and emptiness with our first born. So I believed I was ahead of the game and the mere fact that that with our daughter we have been given the opportunity to see her journey to begin to unfold over the last several months. We have been being prepared for this day in many different ways but are we really prepared for the departure? After yesterday, I will have to say, No.
When I woke up this Saturday morning, the house felt different for some reason. She has been gone before but this time I knew she would not be returning today, tomorrow or next week. I did not even have the heart to open her bedroom door. I just looked at the door knob and walked away. I know in my heart, mind and soul this is where she needs to be. Starting her life, spreading her wings of independence, beginning to learn life through her eyes not ours. Succeeding and feeling proud, falling then learning to get back up. Whatever the case, everything will be okay as this is her time to SHINE!
NO matter what age, she will always be our Baby Girl. For now I will keep in her prayer for her safety and guidance thus knowing that at one point her dorm room refrigerator will need something and laundry will need to be done. "There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.” ~Art Buchwald
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!