Sunday, February 18, 2018
These last few months have been a true test. Lots of soul searching, praying, acceptance for the unknown, forgiveness, new adventures and most of all a bit of restructuring of our life. Having a large family will do this and especially if our large family will be growing by Two! Well, not sure with all large families but in our family it works. Thus with having a type-A personality, I have to admit, I want very much to be in control most of the time, well 99% of the time. However, I have come to understand that is not always possible. Especially within myself having CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome) not really possible considering my body has a mind of its own. My belief is now I tend to just deal with what comes my way. I decided a long time ago I would not let my disability define who I was though I would allow and accept it being a part of me. Boy did it change how I lived. My pain is real, that I wish I could explain in full detail what I feel. The best explanation that I have come close too is when you have a sunburn, get into the shower and the warm water hits your skin. The burning and tingling feeling, the pain and sensations is what my knee feels 24/7. I am only human but I have become a firm believer life is what you make of it and how your mind thinks plays a huge part of your process.
Along with my stuff, our children having special needs, my need for 99% for control is out the window. Now I say I have structure. This comes with a color coded calendar for day-to-day appointments and events along with just being a Family. Having CRPS does not stop me from being a Mom. My children came before and after my disability and my disability is not first to anyone. Believe me there is no day is perfect. There are days that nothing is going right according to the schedule and we just improvise, there are days that laundry does not get done or completely finished (secretly it is my least favorite thing in the world to do), we do take out for carpet picnics, the dishes may be in the sink a bit longer they should be but we Live, we Pray, we Love, we Laugh, we Cry and most importantly we are a Family while together we Work to Achieve, Support and Help one another. The one thing I have learned over the years is that you do not have to be doing something every minute of the day. There are moments to just sit back with your children and cherish that time together. Those moments spent together mean lifetime...away from technology, away from sports, away from the car, away whatever activity it maybe.
So through our hustle and bustle of our "crazy" day-to-day life, my crps, special needs from autism, epilepsy, cp, failure to thrive (eating issues) along with the developmental delays for the month we are discussing (medically and in therapies). Not to mention some insomnia; we continue to fight everything head on, research what we can and partner up as you can never learn enough from others. I will gladly take a moment to sit back, share the moment together as they come, learn what I can from all my children (big and little), cherish every minute as they do not stay little long, be thankful for my husband for his support for everyday that he commutes to work from our home to put milk and food on our table then comes home to do Dad Duty. Our Life is definitely a crazy roller coaster ride one which some may not understand. I respect that having a large family is not for everyone...however, there is this saying "don't knock it tell you try it" GOD BLESS
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!
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