Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Happy Sunshine, Its Hump Day!

It's Wednesday - Happy Hump Day 

Smile and Keep the positive vibe going...Whoop Whoop!

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. - Audrey Hepburn

Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you. - Walt Whitman

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. - Jimmy Johnson

You chose.
You chose.
You chose.

You chose to give away your love.
You chose to have a broken heart.
You chose to give up.
You chose to hang on.

You chose to react.
You chose to feel insecure.
You chose to feel anger.
You chose to fight back.
You chose to have hope.

You chose to be naïve.
You chose to ignore your intuition.
You chose to ignore advice.
You chose to look the other way.
You chose to not listen.
You chose to be stuck in the past.

You chose your perspective.
You chose to blame.
You chose to be right.
You chose your pride.
You chose your games.
You chose your ego.
You chose your paranoia.
You chose to compete.
You chose your enemies.
You chose your consequences.

You chose.
You chose.
You chose.
You chose.

However, you are not alone. Generations of women in your family have chosen. Women around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time in our lives. We stand behind you now screaming:

Choose to let go.
Choose dignity.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to show the world you’re not a victim.
Choose to make us proud. - Shannon L. Alder

Smile, you never know how a smile will affect the one your smiling at, smiles are contagious. Happy Sunshine, Happy Wednesday! GOD BLESS

Until Next Time...Make it A Great Day!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


Today was actually sunny, reminding yesterday I looked over our swimming pool and thought to myself, I just wanted to lay out and do nothing, Right? Can I be bold enough to take all the kids, yes but do I really want to? Was that wrong for me to think that way? Was the water even warm enough because anyone who knows me, I cannot regulate my temperature so anything below 85 degrees is cold. sad, right? David, says I am crazy needing water that warm...wishful thinking! Well today, the swimming pool challenge did not happen, this is true because it is Tuesday. Another jammed packed day, therapy this the morning, along with a scheduled regional center meeting, IEP meeting and then our weekly trip to the Children's Hospital for OT and Speech but before all of that I actually managed to wake up before my little's.

With that said, I managed to have an interrupted shower then to my surprise was able to have a telephone call with a friend this morning - adult conversation. As trivial as this may sound to some of you, it is something that I cannot take for granted because my me time is very limited, I even was able to do my hair, a rare occasion these days. The three things I mention may be clock work for some of you reading this but for me it is not always easy fitting those things in on any giving day. Trying to take a shower without a little crying, one banging on the shower door or even better yet having the strength to shower because of my own disability of RSD. Really it is easier to put my wet hair up into a pony tail and be done, blow drying takes a lot of energy as my hands fall a sleep. The icing on the cake, adult conversation without a crying child, priceless. I know it sound like I am whining and I am...just for a moment, lol, I am finished now. Thank you for the moment!

Really now for all you Mommy's and Daddy's who go through the same thing day in and day is to you! We are all in our own worlds, just trying to get through the day. Trying to make the right choices, be a great caregiver, clean house, make dinner, grocery shop, pay bills, work, relax (maybe), have fun, you name it, we are all doing it in our own way. All I know I just want to feel I am doing the right thing. Believe and Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. - Benjamin Spock GOD BLESS

Until Next Time...Make it A Great Day!

Monday, April 27, 2015

Italy No Holland

Meltdown Monday (MM), my new acronym, needing to decompress somewhere, somehow, tonight I was able to find solace after a day of ups and downs. I am lucky enough to attend a monthly meeting with other foster and adoptive parents and tonight we were very blessed with a guest speaker. She read the following poem bringing tears to my eyes along with peace to my heart...words I so needed to hear, just a reminder of my blessings so subtle but so true...Poem written by Emily Perl Kingsley

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this…
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. 
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." 
"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland?" I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. 
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. 
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. 
So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. 
It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandt's. 
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." 
The pain of that will never, ever, go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. 
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland. 

So very true...GOD BLESS!

Until Next Time...Make it A Great Day!

Meltdown Monday

I take this moment as it is quiet right, for how long I do not know, two sleeping, one at school for another forty five minutes and one playing right next to me, well its Monday! What today usually called Man Crush Monday...well I have a new one, Meltdown Monday! So far between a six year old, a two and half year old, a two year old and thirteen month old; meltdowns are going into the fifties. No Exaggerating Here!!! Already a Therapist and a Teacher have been here for a total of five hours but meltdowns keep a coming. As quick as one stops the next one starts or better yet their all having one together. When this seems to happen, I say a Full Moon is coming and usually I am right. I wish I could be inside their little brains, eyes, ears or bodies to think, see, hear or feel what they are experiencing. To somehow take away their "upset". For now, all I can do is comfort, remind to use their smeller, (yes this works, oxygen is great for calming). Believe me, I redirect to the funniest and weirdest things to get them to breathe and for a moment be calm. Bubbles are our best friend at times like these. Sometimes I feel I am blowing bubbles forever but really all I want to do is take way the anger, fear, to figure out the I don't knows, work through the crying, the screaming, figure out what each one wants when they do not speak, really striving for a sliver of a smile, a low giggle but honestly I just want them to feel safe and loved no matter what state they are in.

While our home is in a bit of disarray today, I came across this morning a post....Enough With, "I Don't Want Them Labeled" I read this article a couple of times and read many of the comments. Honestly, this article hits home. I found myself in this position two years ago, my six year had a label; a diagnosis of Autism but was denied services through our local regional center, then the fight began to find services and what was the right services. Finally after many many hours, dealing with insurance, meetings, more assessments and telephone calls, awesome services were received. In those moments I found myself saying I do not care what diagnosis or what label he was given, he could have ten for that matter, all I know he needs services for his sake and ours. Having a diagnosis was not the end of the world, but living in a world where doctors are quick to prescribed medication and/or diagnosis, I believe fear sets in of the unknown. I had to remember to breathe and take every minute by minute, I was my sons voice and he needed me. Now fast forward two years later, we have three more needing services. Still remembering to breathe and remembering how tough it is as people are quick to label when children or that matter anyone does not fit in their "box" of normal. Really what is normal, is anyone normal? We all have our own quirks and I love every one of my children's, my husbands and mine quirks. Our quirks are what make us who we are, good or bad. 

To All You Parents, whether you have your own biological, guardianship, foster and/or adopted...YOUR AWESOME! There is no greater joy "when we choose to be parents, we accept another human being as part of ourselves, and a large part of our emotional selves will stay with that person as long as we live. From that time on, there will be another person on this earth whose orbit around us will affect us as surely as the moon affects the tides, and affect us in some ways more deeply than anyone else can. Our children are extensions of ourselves". -Fred Rogers GOD BLESS

Until Next Time....Make it A Great Day!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Good Morning

Good Morning and Happy Sunday
from our little part of world to yours
"Not Always Easy Getting Everyone in the Picture...still missing a Few" Love our Babies

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Some Unknown Waters

My Blog is Black and Red Licorice for a reason...during the last twenty four hours I have eaten a family size bag of the mixed licorice along with an array of chocolate. This is not abnormal for me as I am a Candy-holic but lately it seems that I am really turning to my vice of "candy" more often. Each week we have teachers and therapist in our home for approximately 30 hours, then we have OT, PT, Speech at the Children's hospital for approximately another 3.5 hours per week (not including drive time) but this past week it was doctor specialist central. Outcome, one of the little's diagnosed with Seizures while another diagnosed with Autism....when does it stop or does it? 

It seems without a diagnosis these days resources are limited in certain areas when resources could be very helpful but Insurances are reluctant to pay. Honestly it does not matter if you have private insurance or state funded insurance. I just keep getting reminded that is our system. Really, not the answer I am looking for. Then to top it off, medications are the next to be quickly handed out. Leading the question what happens when you give your child a psychotropic drug (can be used for all sorts of diagnoses) for many many many years then when they are old enough to decide they do not want to take it, what side effects will come to be? My worse case scenario is...will they become a psychopath? I know this sound a little extreme but medication does alter our body. Every time a commercial is on TV about a prescription drug, have you really listened to all the side effects? Please understand I am not opposed to medication nor am I judging anyone who gives medication, I am just afraid of the unknown. I am in uncharted waters here when it comes to children!

The biggest thing I want and wish for is my children to feel love, be happy, feel content, to smile and laugh and to be as healthy as their mind and body can allow along with all the resources that I can provide if need be. To sum it all up, I once saw a Facebook post "A Worried Mother does better research than the FBI" and as Angela Schwindt quoted "While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about." I wholeheartedly agree with both quotes. You cannot research or advocate enough for your children, you are their voice. I am privilege enough to be our children's mother, everyday I learn something from one of them, if not All of them. With all that happens here on our home-front...I need to keep cherishing the time and the moments, take thousands of pictures, capturing the memories. Laugh and Smile, Be Silly, "Forget yesterday - it has already forgotten you. Don't sweat tomorrow - you haven't even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift - today.” Steve Maraboli - GOD BLESS

Until Next Time...Make it a Great Day!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Wh're Are You?

Another early day here on the home front, waking up at 4:00am to the sound of David's alarm only to remember that I fell asleep only a few hours earlier in the chair with the baby. Not wanting to wake her and hoping for just a little more sleep before the real fun starts (really wishful thinking) but what only to sit there, watch TV and of course the sky is full of grey. Sure as each day happen the 6:00am hour comes quickly and one by one each little starts to wake, I hear them saying Daddy bye-bye, Mommy wh're are you? Mommy wh're are you? Mom, I am hungry? I call bugs, here beautiful, in a minute will go downstairs for is amazing how repetitious they are everyday. Looking first in my bed and so worried that I am not there. Makes my heart melt. They all find me...immediately attacked with cuddles and hugs, just like that their reassured I am here. Priceless! Somehow four children can figure out a way to hang on and wrap themselves around a part of me. Their loving way. Blessed in these priceless moments, not wanting to let go of a finger, a foot or cuddling any of them but I know 9:00am will come quick as the first of four therapists will arrive for the little's. Time to start the day! 

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

April 21, 2015

April 21, one month that my Mother received her Angel Wings. She has been singing and dancing her heart out. Hard to believe time goes by so fast. I still see her and speak with her every day, though she may not speak back, I believe she finds way to tell me she is still with us. Watching over us, keeping a close watch. Our oldest daughter, Baylie had a butterfly with her on a college tour that stayed with her just last week, when I cook with the sauces she made, I know she is with us and we continue to have her many food finds making our meals all too special. Leading to the end of the day which was our special “talk time” the time I would call and discuss the day, just to laugh or just being able to hear her say all will be okay – “you got this”. I still find myself picking up the phone to call then reminding myself she is not here. I just have to I know I got it covered, with my big crazy family. Yes my big crazy family. I have a lot going on. Being a wife, mother, the many appointments, school, teenagers, taxi service, therapists, in home care, weekly appointments to the Children’s hospital, really you name it, I probably have it….just today I was asked about what I do. I said I would not change it for the world. Having seven awesome children where five are special needs and all five vary in services, in diagnoses and each day is something different. Our life is crazy, roller coaster crazy but truly never a dull moment here. Very thankful for the life we have been blessed with and very thankful to have my supportive husband and family to share it with. Love you All....This one is for you Mom! God Bless