Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Expanding our Family By Two

This post was originally posted on September 27, 2018 -----

First of all I want to say thank you for each and everyone that takes the time to stop by my blog. I am not sure how in detailed anyone reads my lengthy journal posts but if anyone has been following my blog then you have caught on that I have given details here and there about our current adoption process. Though I have not given too many details, I have given some through journal posts as well as by way of social media. A few day earlier with a possible match and some research into our current home study, it rests heavy on my heart to share more in depth our journey.

So let me take you back to the beginning of our new hopeful journey through private domestic adoption. Last April 2017, my hubby and I discussed extensively adding to our family again, not by one but by two.
Thus because as I have said in prior posts, I do not love or think odd numbers are great nor do they work in the universe. Hence TWO!

So we discussed together, as a family, faithfully prayed then reached out to an adoption consultant that came by way of referral but also just happened to start popping up in my social media news feed (maybe it is true social media knows what we are thinking..lol) No really, I truly do not think there are coincidences but subtle hints of things to come as there are reasons for everything in life. After many weeks of pondering, watching many posts, praying; I made contact. Lengthy one at that.
May 2017, I had our phone interview and spilled our life story. Not to forget the main reason, our reason of wanting to adopt TWO! Twins and how adamant I was that God had a plan for our family. Little did I know at the time, our journey was going to take us on a path that we would ever come to fathom. As we understood over the years adoption through the foster care system, we began to quickly learn the differences on the domestic side of things. Though we had an approved home study through our county, it was not the right home study. Therefore, we needed a new one, a correct one. As we searched via the internet a for an agency, a friend of mine, gave a referral to a local company. I made contact again. Thus, spilling our life story and our specific intentions of adopting two. Finally I felt we were on the right track, adoption consultant on board and new home study started and all going as planned. Well let me just say, after six months almost to the day from the day we made contact with the home study agency, we were informed that they could not finish due to an internal policy that nobody decided catch along with being told our social worker was inexperience though she had been in the field for fifteen plus years. Needless to say, they could not give anything in writing to support their decision. However they did provide a letter to refund our money but lets just say we are still waiting for our money.
So here the holidays are in full swing and we are back to the beginning in January 2018. Me being me, found a local company, again very upfront with our situation and here we go again, application for a new home started. All the while, props to our adoption consultant as their entire team stuck it out with us. Prayed for us, listened to me when I just needed to vent through whatever mounds of duplicate paperwork we needed to complete. Plus just their patience in the process that ended up being a little over fifteen months for us to become active with their consulting agency from the first day I made contact.
Now that we are in the active stage with a very specific home study but truly did not find out how specific until a few days ago when we had a possible match of “one”. We are hopeful to adopt two, we went into this hopeful to adopt Twins. Knowing that it is not always the plan; Twins not always easy to come by and if God had it in our path then it will be. However it was discussed that if Twins were not an option then it may be possible to do a back to back adoption as that may be a possibility. As we have been very open about wanting to adoption Twins, we would be just was open about the back-to-back adoption as well. We wrote a letter again; a synopsis of our life story and our intentions for adoption. Well as a possible match came, it made me question our home study thus we found that a back-to-back adoption is not as easy as we thought. Therefore, I came full forward again that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and we cannot force anything. We came into this process with a specific intention. TWINS! One that I saw clearly, I cannot change the rules as my husband says. We believe Twins will be a part of our family and our path of life. Since becoming active, we have been presented with thirty-four cases. Cases, expectant mothers, fathers and babies, that we prayed over everyone involved, some said yes to, some said no to but not one has been our Yes…our two yes’ are still out there!
“I prayed for this child/children” – Samuel 1:27
As much as I can say it has been an emotional roller coaster plus I am sure hardly nothing to what an expectant mother and/or father is and will be going through but I know all in all our little blessings (two) have not set forth on our path. Still firmly believing our Twins will make their way into our family. I fully understand that with adoption comes brokenness, sadness but also hopefulness, joy and a great love for one another. There is no easy answer in the adoption world, it is easy turn a blind eye to so many things but that is not a true picture of reality. Adoption is bittersweet and a true love all wrapped up in one.
“Adoption has the dimension of connection — not only to your own tribe, but beyond, widening the scope of what constitutes love, ties and family. It is a larger embrace. By adopting, we stretch past our immediate circles and, by reaching out, find an unexpected sense of belonging with others.” Isabella Rossellini
Until then our big crazy family will be waiting for the next TWO to make their arrival to further share and be a part of our love, laughter, adventures and day to day craziness.
GOD BLESS
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Our New Season - HomeSchool


This post was originally posted on August 3, 2018 ------

I write today with a feeling that a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but I really know that somewhere in the upcoming months the weight of my decision for our Littles to home school this new school year has only just begun. Whether good or not so good, it will be a Life Adventure that we will be doing together, head on, as a family. Got to say..nothing is better than that!


Let me take you back a bit, our Littles had a really rough year last year with our school district. Things happened that no one should have experienced let alone anyone under the age of five thus causing a non-stop dealing with the school district, teachers and aides. Adding to our already crazy daily life of every thing under the sun. I have to Blog school busadmit, I was very proud of myself as I was able to graciously advocate for my children and finish their year in the positive. However, it left me with this never-ending pit in my stomach. A constant questioning of what if’s for this year to come.
As our Littles each have Individualized Educational Plans (IEP’s), I knew somewhat how the upcoming year would look like, what each class would likely be, for the most part who was in what program and who was going to have what teachers. Getting right down to it, we live in a great school district. We moved specifically to be in this district along with our housing track to be within the zones of certain schools. We already have had three children graduate through this district with one of them utilizing additional services. So, really what is boils down to is that I lost faith and trust of the overall school system over the issues that happened last year. Now, not sure how to get that back.
Our children could have the best teachers this upcoming year, the programs could be the best but when you have witnessed issues and/or have proof of the happenings there is an internal inside battle almost like a real-time movie constantly on replay.
I began to tell myself, my daily stomach ache, would just go Blog Crazinessaway. However now that the new school year is fast approaching my “so-called” stomach ache really is not and my anxiety is through the roof. I gave myself a date to make hard decision and I DID!
I know I cannot control everything but I know that I can take minute by minute, day by day. Whereas, if I did not try to do what I felt was BEST for our children and to further feed what I knew was in my heart…I failed as their mother, caregiver, protector. So, in short, Home School here we come!
Blog HomeschoolingWe already have a busy schedule but life sometimes throws us curve balls or there comes a time where there is a fork in the road where the paths that we see are not always smooth and straight. Remembering the road with the most bumps and less traveled, sometimes has the best surprises!
Plus, I am lucky to have many friends in our life who home school to ask questions, to learn from, to lean on and just listen to me ramble. As I said before, I believe everything happens for a reason and God has a timing for everything.
Life is not perfect but knowing our children will be safe and will not be in the mindset they were last year is worth every moment of chaos for the time being. Right now, I do not have the right answer, needless to say I do know I can say home schooling maybe just a season or maybe it is meant for their entire school career. Nonetheless, I do know for a fact it is a minute by minute, a day by day routine. Honestly, that is all I can ask for from each one of them and from myself.  GOD BLESS
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…we must do that which we think we cannot.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Until Next Time….Make it a Great Day!
Julie