Sunday, March 10, 2019

An Adoption Journey Together

It has been almost two weeks since the whirlwind trip of crazy travel and sitting in a hotel room basically going stir crazy. Thinking how quiet things were compared to our day to day activities that we call Home. I have to say, I am not use to quiet, one baby nor one child for that matter. Truly I think I am scared of the quiet, the real quiet. My mind tends to think something is wrong or out of order. Our home is filled with noise, love, laughter, cries, pitter patter of feet and little ones constantly calling Mama endless times throughout the day. However the time spent apart from the norm made way to something greater. Us navigating through our adoption journey where we we had been so steadfast in thinking one way though truly lead us in another. Little did we know our journey came full circle as our prayers were answered in more ways than one and are still being answered.

The fact is that we specifically started our adoption journey for two babies - twins (partly due to my uncanny desire of not wanting an odd number, does not work well in the universe and partly as I could see and feel the path so clearly) We knew that twins may not be an option therefore we also presented on single cases back to back, all the while we prayed that whatever the path that led us to adoption and to this journey, we would grow our family. This past October we were matched with a beautiful Mama with exactly what we had been praying about, boy/girl twins. In the few months that we had, we talked everyday and built a relationship needless to say we knew she could change her mind to parent at any time and she did.

It was hard and tough but it was her right, her choice. It was not our time but as we found out that she has lied, not making things easier and as there is more to the story but after all said and done, I came to figure that God was protecting all us. I needed to take a step back, be thankful and be patient as I was not the one writing our story. Just to be clear, patience is not my comfort zone!

So, here we were back to square one. We began presenting on several cases leading to several "no's"....I came to a point that maybe it was just not meant to be and almost threw in the towel as I stated, patience is not my friend. Nevertheless, thanks to our awesome social worker and our awesome consultant listening to me vent many times might I add; we continued. A couple weeks went by, more cases, more "no's" then one Monday night a case came over as I quickly skimmed the reference line stating 6 month baby boy.

If you ever have gotten the feeling in the pit of your stomach to do something now that is what I got. I happened to be leaving for the store and I felt as I could not get to a place fast enough to read the particulars. When I finally opened the email and began reading, it all made sense. Yes, he was 6 months old but not technically he had been born a micro-preemie. He was born at 25 weeks and at the time of that email had never seen the light of day except from the hospital room. Six months in the hospital he needed to go HOME! He was a survivor of the NICU and after reading the long list of what he had endure and the possible unknowns, my head was spinning though I still needed to discuss with my hubby but I knew there was no question that we would present to his case.

Early Tuesday morning I sent our yes email with our letter expressing our desire to adopt two babies and a snapshot of our craziness and by 9:00am we were receiving a call that we were matched and we we were growing our family with a Son! The craziness of this is that we did match with twins as our little is a twin but his twin unfortunately did not make it - blessing little one and fly with the Angels. What is even crazier is that he was born six months ago just about the same time we went "active" with our adoption consultant. Whether or not you believe in coincidence but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.

We were also told that he was being discharged and we needed to get to him immediately. That day, I made ever possible plan necessary for everyone at home and got on the first flight available. Flying through the night; straight from the airport to the hospital to see him. At first sight, I cannot explain the emotion but as soon as I held him it just felt right. I was a ball of emotions plus the nurse kept saying how relaxed he looked, about an hour in all cuddled in my arms, he smiled and the entire room of nurses, social workers, doctors, went crazy as they said they never seen him smile. As much as that was a great moment, that broke my heart, six months to never see a smile. I know that being a micro-premie he is on an adjusted age scale but really not even a little smile even one to blame on gas. To me that small smile solidified he was home, he knew I was there to love him, keep him safe and advocate every possible thing to come. That is just what I did. After three more days, countless questioning of the hospital and procedures, a major team meeting was held and less than seven hours later we were being discharged. That day was six months to the day he was born, marking a new beginning, a new chapter, a new celebration, our day as Family!

His road will be bumpy as it is unforeseen. The question will be how bumpy? Since we have returned home, seen the doctor several times and one specialist so far, I know there is a lot in the unknown department all waiting on time but whatever comes his way will not be without me pushing back with questions and every resource that is available to him. I became his Voice! His will to fight is there which has been seen in his strength to overcome the adversity reflected in his time spent in the NICU. Even since being home from the hospital things have drastically improved, everyday there is something to note. I will say that having backers by the way of Mama who does not necessarily take no for an answer plus Daddy and all his siblings who love him so much whatever may come does not have a fighting chance. We are in this together as a family. Knowing that early intervention is key but also having unconditional love to see us all through for the good and not so good times is what continues to make us One Big Crazy Family!

With patience not really my friend, my true lesson which has been taught to me several times before is that our path in life is already set. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. " – Joshua 1:9 The unveiling is what takes time (hence the patience part). We did match with twins though not how we thought nevertheless our little guy so needed us and we needed him. I am never ceased to by amazed how much I learn when I remember to open my eyes and really trust the fact that God has my life in his hands and my families. As for our adoption journey, if we are to match again to have "Irish Twins" that is already in our path, though it may or may not happened as truly the answer is out of our hands.


Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!

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