Friday, July 29, 2016

Pathways of Life and Journeys Taken

There comes a time and a place when you stop and think what am I doing? Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Then something happens which is a small reminder of why you are right where you should be.

Today and for the matter this week, it has been the laughter that I hear when the walls echo in our home throughout the day, it is the tight squeeze of my daughter caused by her anxiety reminding me not to let go, it is the words "love you mommy" repeatedly through the echolalia of my autistic son, it one seizure free day by my daughter, it is one day without one pull of hair for my son, it is one day that a transition from my son that did not turn into a meltdown, it is validation by my daughter in her quaint smile that she found comfort knowing she will make it in this harsh big world.

Each of these one things, separate, priceless all maybe small. Nonetheless, combined each thing becomes something truly large in my world.

I recently had a discussion with someone regarding motherhood. I started out saying motherhood was not the path I saw myself. I truly did not want to be a stay at home mother. I wanted to work outside the home. For anyone reading this, there are many people out there that truly do not understand what a stay at home mother does. I was that mother until I became one (a stay-at-home mother). Yes, I was a mother but a working mother (outside the home). You truly do not know the full demand of motherhood until you are home (all the time).

I stated in my conversation that GOD had another plan for me; many years ago. He was knocking on my door a couple of times. Making my path of motherhood and a wife; a long walk. Now I look back to those many years ago and see that my path is the right though with many twist and turns and one not to be walked alone. I have been blessed with many gifts throughout my life. I also must say GOD has an awesome way of putting your life into perspective when you trust as well as putting someone in your life when you least expect as well as taking someone out of your life when he knows it is the BEST!

I have come to trust in him, though may not always understand. Validating my belief; there is a reason for everything. Everyone and everything that crosses my path, your path of life reflecting that there is a reason for it. Whether good or bad, big or small, just need to trust the reason why even if you are not sure of what it is. All is always revealed in this statement is what makes Life Exciting!!!!

Be your Best at all Times or at least give 110%! With that said, I do still doubt myself on what I am doing. Doubting not of how I am doing but how I can do better? With every day that passes, where trying to maintain my own health, manage my CRPS/RSD, be a great wife and be a great mother, not great but FABOULOUS! I always want to do more but sometimes limited because of my own disability. I do feel GOD has an interesting way of telling me to stop and smell the roses. Basically stop and see what is right and front me and cherish what I have! To never forget He is walking right along side of me and with My Mother of course.

I may have to do things different and things may not always get finished as they are supposed to but tomorrow is another day. If that meant that I was able to take ten more minutes with the little's, ten more minutes to have to figure out teenage issues or ten more minutes spent with my young adult who is still learning but acts like she is thirty, I will take every minute in a heartbeat. Always remember yesterday is a memory, today is right now in the moment and tomorrow is mere hope...GOD BLESS

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”
― Paulo Coelho

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!

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Saturday, July 2, 2016

Normal or Chaos

I recently came across on social media about another special needs mother expressing how she did not have the ideal situation of a "normal" life with her children. It reminded me of my children especially my son who is autistic (one of three). He has a ritual a couple of times a week to destroy his sisters' room if left unattended for a minute. Usually will happen when the bathroom is calling and most of the toys are stuff animals...I have learned. He loves to hear things crash though he hates loud piercing noises but breaking noises is a much different story. So, I had to stop and think about her words. I really thought about it for most of the day. I thought about commenting but I refrained as I really did not know what to say. Bringing the question does anyone have a "NORMAL LIFE"?

I say this wholeheartedly as I look back prior to fostering and/or adopting when my husband and I had only our homegrown children. When we had one child. We thought life was great at times then the end of the world at others then baby number two came and more stuff to pack, a bigger car, more accessories and more expenses. Do not get me wrong we were happy, a boy and a girl and a dog; our perfect little family, right? Yes but No, chaos was always lurking around the corner.

Then baby number three came, odd number! Oh, he was loved and looked after liked no other but as I have always said take one out of the mix or add one in to make the number even, somehow the chaos seems to always change.

With great jobs, three awesome children while learning the aspects of Asperger's with our third child, a beautiful home; a monkey wrench was thrown into our mix then while throwing the wrench back we wanted to give back by way of fostering. While we were on that path we were blessed through adoption.

Now with a large family, I will admit, we do make changes in the way we do things. The way we eat out, the way we vacation (long weekend stays), the way we grocery shop, how we schedule things and more so since we have special needs children but nevertheless every child needs structure special needs or not.

Leading back to my original question, does anyone have a "normal life"? Well, my theory is everyone's household has a degree of normalcy and a degree of chaos. Whether one child or eight, yes eight. Our household has grown by one in the past couple of weeks. This change has required changes in schedules, which having Autistic children has been transitions that we have done in baby steps. Interesting making things work but that has not gone without being organized and task orientated as that keeps things all in perspective. However, when things do go astray I just need to remember to stay calm. More excitement more the fire fuels!

When all the dust settles, I do take a time out, so remember this for yourself...go with your girlfriend or even by yourself, you deserve it....nothing like having pretty nails and toes or just Grab a Coffee, even five minutes of revitalization will do wonders!!! Then do not forget Date Night with your Spouse or Significant Other, this little aspect tends to go unnoticed a lot but so very important! Last but not least do not forget some of your favorite mine, Black and Red Licorice, Gummy Bears and Frozen Hershey Bars!

Life is nothing without a little chaos to make it interesting.”
― Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

GOD BLESS. Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!

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