One, Two, Three….Choose?

Each and every day we are faced with decisions. Have we made the correct choice? Were we right or wrong? What is the outcome and what are the effects? Isn’t there a time where we can just have a moment where we do not have to decide….okay now I am having a wishful thinking moment?  Maybe when we were a newborn but even then there was a decision to cry to be fed, a decision to cry to be changed or a decision to laugh upon happiness. So really every minute of our life, we make a decision no matter how small it might be. My decision to be happy with the disability that I have is a blessing in its own way. Living a life with a disability can be a burden but truly I would not change a thing. A life free from disability and adversity, ABSOLUTELY NOT, not now. I have been given too much since my accident to turn back the clocks.

My life now is what has made me stronger and realize the importance to life, my family, my friends and just plain me. Why, you may be wondering, well prior to my accident I was missing out on so many things. For those who know me, our family was busy with family trips to the river A LOT, not a care in the world, going here and there. Yes we are busy now but the busy we were then was much different almost like it was bestowed upon us. Besides all the things we had and did, we missed the important things ALL together, children activities, family night, date night, family day, etc.  See my point of family! Why because I could not get away from the office, there was always a decision on my part to work just a little longer. Before I knew it, it was too late to leave. I am who I am, organized anal retentive, detailed, type A person but was I really using my abilities in the best way? No not really! Then my corn field came…..I was put in this predicament to be at home, wheelchair/cane bound, had to be driven around and had the opportunity to get  the things I was missing. Then it happened, I made it to an award show. The first time I saw the smile on my Childs face receiving an award was like the day he was born, what was I thinking? I thought I was the worst mother in the world for not attending all the previous shows. Then as the kids were sharing what award they received, my son’s friend said my mom and dad are not coming, then it hit me again, I was that parent. Yes I had to work but not once could I ever make the time to see one award show for any of my children? How successful was I? What was the importance of my success? Did my children really care what title I had or where my office was located?

Success is not about money or the moniker under your name, or the rank of the business you own, it is the smile that comes from your child or your family when they feel they have done something special. It could be an award ceremony or it could be the drawing they did at the kitchen table. Whatever it may be, it took ten-seconds, many sleepless nights and God to knock on my door several times to help me understand what I was missing was never more than inches away from me on a daily basis. I know now that I am truly blessed more than the day before. My Angel is always flying overhead!

As always, smile to stranger you just may brighter their day, indulge in a piece of candy, take a breath, love your family and friends, cherish a moment with your children, they grow up in a blink of an eye, no matter what happens today… tomorrow is a new day!

Until next time….Make it a Great Day!

Simplicity

Is life that simple or black and white? Are you a red licorice or a black licorice person or like me you like both? Candy, what a wonderful thing to eat?  It is my daily ritual to eat candy and to make good choices. I do have a “proper” way to eat candy; if that is really true or just my way. I will contribute this habit to my OCD which I have managed to keep under wraps too many people in my life. My husband has come to tolerate it but why? My children have come to learn to live with it and love me for every weird compulsive thing I do. However, this condition I would not wish upon anyone….I ask myself why does one have a compulsion that becomes obsessive. http://www.bing.com/health/article/mayo-125506/Obsessivecompulsive-disorder-OCD?q=ocd. Where did I learn this? My OCD became worse after my accident. The loss of control and having to depend on someone is not a great situation for someone who is OCD. I have to say though it has been a great learning experience for all involved. As things have changed some good and some not so good, it sure has put life into perspective. Why when tragedy strikes do we re-evaluate our priorities? We learn what is really important? Who is important? Is tragedy a life test for us? If it is a test, is there a grading scale or CURVE? Where is the syllabus? Is it posted somewhere in a life guide, maybe cliff notes?

When tragedy happens here come the person to try to make it all better…..a family member, a friend, and even a person you do not know, but the best is a doctor that just has maybe 10 minutes to spare. I have had many doctors, over 20 to say the least.  When you get to a point to ask to have your own leg cut off at the knee on three separate occasions, you know the pain is that bad and you just do not trust anyone. Sometimes you just want someone listen and not to tell you it will be okay, when really nobody knows. Now, if I was given a brown bag and told there was a cure and all I had to do was drink the contents, I would. Wishful thinking, I think or maybe something else!

What if there was a life guide? Can I make a suggestion and remove the word “cannot”. This word only makes a stubborn person more stubborn but also gives another person a way out. Case in point…once a doctor told me that I had to “forget my old normal life” and starting living “my new normal life without high heels”; what was he thinking? My closet without high heels, for you women out there, can you imagine your closet without high heels. If you can, I am unable to. Prior to my accident the only flat pair of shoes I owned were the new shoes I slipped in and one pair of flip flops, so to say after that doctors appointment, Nordstrom’s here I came. One expensive shopping trip later I was walking away with three pairs of 3” to 4” high heels. What was I thinking, I still could not drive and I had a large brace on my leg. So I put all the pretty shoes on my dresser and every day, I said one day my feet will wear each pair. Sure enough those pretty shoes have had their day!  All three of them, did I prove my point, Hell, yes I did! Never let someone tell you, you cannot!!!! That word or any form of the word should not be in the dictionary!

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.Horace Bushnell

As always, smile to stranger you just may brighter their day, indulge in a piece of candy, take a breath, love your family and friends, cherish a moment with your children, they grow up in a blink of an eye, no matter what happens today… tomorrow is a new day!

Until next time….Make it a Great Day!

Ten Seconds

Every day I wake up and remember the day that changed my life. I still cannot believe how less than ten-seconds changed everything for my family and for me that sunny November day. The day started out normal as normal can be but by the afternoon my normal life was going to be a distant memory. At a business lunch meeting at the Yardhouse, eating great food and finishing with apple pie and ice-cream when I just had to go to the bathroom. Only because I knew I would be on the road for a while plus knowing I would be sitting in traffic most of the way home. On my way to the restroom, just walking only a short distance, I slipped on the floor. I wish I could have seen my reaction. I knew I looked like the biggest idiot but when I tried to get up, I could not. A patron one booth up turned around and asked if I was okay and I said I look like an idiot and I cannot get up, she was my saving grace, she called 911.

Next thing I knew I was being taken to the hospital, x-rays, doctors and specialists; oh, I finally did get to go the bathroom and then I heard, the dreadful words, SHATTERED! What was shattered? What did that mean? I was smart. I knew. I just could not believe it; really I did not want to believe it. Shattered was my patella, my knee cap. I just wanted to go home to my family. Impossible! It was the beginning of my ten-second nightmare.

Next morning I was scheduled for an emergency surgery, I was told it should be a piece of cake. Well that was not really what happened. Five days in the hospital for an in and out procedure and one problem after the other along with the numerous doctor’s visits, physical therapy appointments, specialists, many surgeries, let alone I could not walk without assistance or drive at all, diagnosis, CRPS or RSD - www.rsds.org. What? Before this incident, I was healthy except for maybe a cold here or there. I was married, athletic, independent, head-strong, organized, successful women with three beautiful healthy children; I just wanted to have my old "normal" life back. What do you mean I will walk with assistance and have a medical condition that will now affect my life forever? There were so many unanswered questions. What does normal mean? Why did this happen to me? Why did my knee not heal correctly? What did I do to deserve this? What did my family do? I could go on and on.....but really?

Okay, I refer to this setback as to being dropped in a middle of a corn field and trying to find my way out blind folded. As this day passes each year, time really does not heal; it just helps heal the emotional wounds. My ten second moment happened November 19, 2004, almost 7 years ago. On the anniversary, I have cried every year, maybe one year I will not but somehow, the memory of the day is not the best. It happens to be an anniversary of a family member; therefore, a sad constant reminder. However, I made a radical decision one day after spending Mother’s Day weekend in bed and receiving a drawing from my then 6 year old son, which portrayed us lying in bed together watching TV. A far cry of the other drawings he used to draw of us playing in the park. From that moment, I decided not to let my disability run my life. I made a decision to let my disability be a part of my life.

My ritual became, every morning before getting out of bed I tell myself smile no matter what. No matter how bad the pain is. Be thankful for the many blessings I have. One day there will be a cure, give back as much as possible. Life is a gift and precious moments need to be cherished. Indulge in my weakness of Black Licorice, mix in Red Licorice and do not forget the Gummy Bears. We only live once, love each day and be thankful for God, my family, our friends and the Angels watching over me.

Until the next time....Make it a Great Day!