Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Seeing a Negative Through the Eyes of My Autistic Son

A Negative to A Positive
As a parent, caregiver, guardian your main purpose is to protect your child no matter what circumstance they encounter but what if your child has no idea what really is going on? Could over protecting be the issue or is it keeping them in a bubble? What to do when your autistic child does not understand the meaning of "hate"?

I bring these questions up as recently a note was left on our door for our little guy stating a friend "hated" him. My teenagers hearing the doorbell and seeing some of the neighbor kids, brought the note to me. Upon reading the note, I was taken back, for a brief moment not a word to say. Coming to the top of the stairs, seeing my son at the front window staring out, watching obsessively to go outside. My heart hurt. I asked him about the note, all he did was ask if he could outside; to his thinking, what did the note even mean? What did it mean? A playful joke amongst, six year old's, kids being kids or was it truly what it said, they hated him? Looking at him, he just kept staring out the window and asking if he could go outside? Right then a tear formed in my eye, one hand as a mother I was angry and sad that kids would be so cruel then on the other hand I was so happy that our little guy had this ability not to even care.

Autism, Asperger’s, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is something very interesting. We have three children all over the spectrum, they are all unique in themselves. To say in that moment where my little guy looked at me without any reservation to be upset, that was truly special. Something all three of my autistic children share. I do not think it was right for what happened, I wanted to know if my little guy had done something and really what was the reasoning. Yes, I found out why and what the factors were, to be honest just a note with no basis but following in the next couple of days, as it was discussed in his ABA therapy, to him it was a mere distant thought so much that even when seeing the kids without any hesitation waved and said hello.

My fear is this could be the greatest thing but it can also be devastating as he grows up. We have a fear factor within our sympathetic nervous system (flight or fight response) but when there is no fear to fear life becomes different than the so called "normal" world we live in. Our social rules are an important part of life. The past couple of years he has made it over some tough hurdles. He continues to keep hurdling and working very hard to be in the mainstream of the playground of the social environment with few incidents, melt downs, etc. Still having a meltdowns when things do not quite go his way, still working through his stereotypical movements, working on his obsessive behaviors, keeping structured routine but truly having the additional support of ABA therapy has worked wonders at school and is working at home. Although, my son maybe different in the eyes of someone else but he is PERFECT in every way as “Autism, is part of my child, it's not everything he is. My child is so much more than a diagnosis.” -S.L. Coelho GOD BLESS

Until Next Time...Make it A Great Day!

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