Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Smiliarities through Different Circumstances are Right in Front of Us

Twenty one years ago today, I sat in a dental chair and had the worst experience that one could image. It started with a molar that was bothering me. So, like normal, I made an appointment with the dentist whom I had used several times before. This appointment started out well but as I received the shot to numb the area, the numbing process just was not doing its thing. A couple of injection later still nothing. The dentist ensured me; all would be okay. With full assurance from the dentist, the drill started. In the beginning all okay then I felt it; a sharp, tingly feeling of pain. First thought, it was all in my head. Nope! I began to wince with every touch of the drill to my tooth. The more I winced and scowled, the angrier I became. Why was the dentist not noticing? Then finally he spoke, he stated there was no possible way I should feel anything. Really, was he a part of my mouth! Did he feel the pain? I felt everything. So much I punched the drill right out of the dentist's hand causing a cut to his arm. Well that lovely experience with the dentist was my turning point. I was ruined. My trust for the dentist and any part of dental field was broken.

The story of my tooth; yes, I had an issue with my tooth. A toothache which became more agitated due to the numbing shots and the drill. Ultimately causing an abscess. Within twenty four hours, my left side of my face was swollen with some black and blue tones. The real kicker, my birthday was coming up and we had plans to travel to Las Vegas. Also, pregnant with our first born, unable to take pain medication plus sporting this new look made it an interesting trip. Interesting but not surprised how bold people become after a few drinks. One gentlemen out right asked how many times I was beat by my husband for not listening. Did I mention, David was sitting right next to me? Another time, I was given information on women shelters. We were not sure if it was the setting of Las Vegas or just the perception of Las Vegas but the world is sure funny and the versions people come up with.

Now fast forward to my recent appointment, sitting in the dental chair having work done by a dentist who has not steered me wrong, knows my anxiety level, my fear of what I am not able to control. A dentist who works on my entire family, takes his time and for me takes every precaution especially knowing my disability and what it does to my system. Things just do not go as smooth when your body has been through many things or as I say the coo-coo clock is not chirping right. The projection of My FEAR, my HINDERANCE is now passed on to this dentist. A dentist who does a great job but has taken the burden of someone else's mistake. His patience and respect for me and my family, I am beyond grateful and thankful.

It reminds me to look through the looking glass of life. Our family has been doing this daily. We choose to care for another person due to a mistake of their parents or caregiver. We give back through the foster care system, a child who comes into our home with what we believe as their UNKNOWN, their FEARS, their ANXIETY but what makes it all worth it is knowing that we have the power to love, support, listen, provide safety, and stability for whatever time period is needed. Just as my dentist knows his patience, efforts and time to get me through my FEAR; means the world to me. It goes to show there are many circumstances in this world which are the same but not the same; we just have to look a little harder to see the similarities and be thankful for who and what are put into our lives. As I always say, there is a reason for everything, we may not know why at the time but in time the reason will be revealed. GOD BLESS

We go on and on about our differences. But, you know, our differences are less important than our similarities. People have a lot in common with one another, whether they see that or not. - William Hall
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Saturday, November 14, 2015

Jumping in With Both Feet

 Yesterday, I walked into the hair salon gung-ho just wanting something, not really sure what but just something. The stylist who also is part of my family looked at me like what? Can you give me a clue? I could not answer, I did not even know. I just knew I wanted a CHANGE! As I have been many shades of blonde, I have been red, hair of two colors (light blonde with a merlot under tone) she said what do you want? Color of blue, silver, darker, just give me something? As I think it would be fun to do the in colors of blue, silver, green or even a multi-color; I am not sure if would be able to pull that off. So I opted for some lowlights of red and highlights of blonde (my safety net of color).

Starting the foil process of colors which continued for approximately two hours then off to the wash station to seal the product. All the while I trying to figure out a cut, all I said was I want you to cut it but leave it long. Was that a fair assumption to give? It is just hair, right? One thing about your hair is, if you are having a bad hair day, everything feels off. You may have the cutest outfit on or wearing the best shoes but when your hair is not in your good place, nothing else matters. Well, that is how I feel. Plus, it is hard for me to manage my hair. I say that lightly having naturally curly hair as flat irons, curling irons or even the round brush when it takes twenty plus minutes to style my hair thus causing my hands to go numb often. This is what make is not manageable. Hence, why I wear my hair up a lot not because it is the faster route! Just a side effect from my accident, disability and the many surgeries I have had. I do take the time some days, it is a nice feeling when you hair is done and styled. I am lucky though, I have an awesome daughter who when she has the time will do my hair, love you Bay!!!

Now, the waiting has come to an end and it is time to see what the color process created. Towel off and at first I felt I made a mistake. What was I thinking telling her I wanted something new? I just keep staring. It was definitely different. Usually, I am used to seeing all blonde, many many light shades and red underneath. I thought, what would my husband say? Would he like it? I did not know and I did not care because did I like it? As I kept looking in the mirror she began to joke about if my husband would even notice, would he notice the colors, would he notice that she was cutting more than the normal half inch I usually allow or all the layers that just starting to occur. I knew he would, he always noticed. If does not, he makes a good argument as he always states his opinion whether he likes my "new" hair or not. One of the many things, I do love of him. Well this time, it would not be hard it was not just a few blonde highlights.

I definitely got change I asked for. With the color, cut and style, I left with a smile genuinely. Thank you, Tina. I took the risk, the risk many times I wanted when I sat in that same exact chair but did not have the courage to take. This time, I leaped all in. Change is something that is needed from time to time. Just have to jump in with both feet. Knowing, there are times it may be what we are not expecting or wanting but you never know until it happens as you may be surprised with the outcome in a great way. You just have to have Faith!

In the end, almost four hours later (the price of beauty and keeping up), I came home to my husband telling me my hair looked great and I was beautiful. My three old year daughter looked at me and said "hair beautiful mommy" so I will take that all day long. Yes, it is just hair and there are bigger things in life to worry about but sometimes taking a risk or making a change when you are not sure what the outcome will be; pays off with great rewards. GOD BLESS

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. ~Wayne Gretzky

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Our 20th Anniversary....

Today is a very honored and special day across the country, it honors our veterans who have served and are continually serving as well as those who have sacrificed and died for our country and freedom. Today also is very special as twenty years ago, I married my husband. We hit the Twenty Year Mark, a milestone of Marriage! However, we have not hit that milestone without going through plenty to get here.

Marriage defined by Webster's:

n.1.The act of marrying, or the state of being married; legal union of a man and a woman for life, as husband and wife; wedlock; matrimony.
Marriage is honorable in all.
- Heb. xiii. 4.
2.The marriage vow or contract.
3.A feast made on the occasion of a marriage.
The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king which made a marriage for his son.
- Matt. xxii. 2.
4.Any intimate or close union

I can still remember the first time we met, the place, the people (thanks Randy). Basically the day the seed was planted. Only a couple of weeks later, after several late night telephone calls, was our official date. Our life began and the seed sprouted (quickly might I add). From getting engaged after four months of meeting and dating, then finding out we were going to be parents eight months into our relationship. Yes, sometimes protection just does not work! Well, with wedding plans in full motion, we decided, well I decided that I just did not want to be a pregnant bride. So, we held off for little over a year and our little family of three was officially one!

Twenty years, two decades, many years for many things to happen. I can say that these past years have been many emotions, some super great, some super not so great, it is Marriage, it is our Marriage! I do find it is interesting as the above definition says nothing about work. Marriage is somewhat work. Every day I feel you must work at your marriage, you cannot sit back and think that all will be okay. Otherwise one or both becomes complacent! As anyone married will tell you, there are days of utter bliss and there are days of pure annoyance. Marriage has many rewards but one of the biggest rewards comes when you can get through the toughest times knowing that when it is all said and done your marriage is that much stronger.

I can vouch, we definitely have been through some tough and interesting times. From scary pregnancies, premature babies, lost employments, medical issues, a separation, reconstructive surgeries, extended family drama, a life altering accident and long term permanent disability, crooked attorneys, passing of family members; all leading to life changing moments that have made us who we are today. US!!!!

Despite all the riffraff of life, our roller coaster ride has been ridden with plenty of love, prayers, support, laughs, tears, and smiles. Here is to another twenty years and another twenty years, through the downward spiral and the upward climb, either way, our safe place is our family unit. Which was started with just you and I. For that brings the butterflies in my stomach and tears of joy.

Through it all, we have marked our milestones as at five years we threw a huge party, at ten years we celebrated in Cabo while celebrating a new marriage of Alison and Tony while getting new rings a kind of new beginning, at fifteen years we celebrated quietly at home with family and now our twentieth we are getting away for the weekend (no kids I might add) to enjoy our time together. I know when we first met we talked about everything and our plans for the future, never in my wildest dreams, I thought we would be where we are today. I can truly say, looking back, I would not have it any other way. I am so thankful for everything that has happened, what we have seen, shared, done, been given and been able to do.... ALL TOGETHER!!!!

Twenty years is a lot of time. Some of the time, we have taken for granted but for the most part we have done Awesome! I love you always and forever, Happy Anniversary! xoxo

So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.” - Nicholas Sparks 


Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Happy Veterans Day!

Happy Veteran's Day to All...
A Day to Remember with Gratitude and Pride,
All those who have Served, Men and Women,
Who are Serving
Who Have Sacrificed
and Died for Country and Our Freedom.
Thank you for your Service.
May Your Days be Filled with Peace and Blessings!

Special Thanks to my Family
My Father, Father in Law and Brother who have Served.

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Honoring National Adoption Month

With November being National Adoption Month it brings up a whole slew of memories, memories of all the little's who we have had the opportunity to love, watch, keep safe, then to be a part of their reunification or adoption.

I say adoption is not for the faint of heart as the process is not always the easiest. The emotional roller coaster or the process of the court system through foster care either wanting you to keep your guard up many of the times but keeping your heart open always. When we first started to foster several years ago, it was suggested that we be an adoptive home, we kindly replied "no". We did not think that adoption was our calling; little did we know then. We knew for a fact, that we wanted to help and give back to children by way of fostering and at that time we were not sure if we had any intention to adopt. Surely, if we were to adopt, would it be our first child placed or the one hundredth child placed.

Now, fast forward to the present, our family since the day we started fostering has grown from a family of five to a family of nine. It is interesting how life turns and your path keeps changing. The path GOD has placed for you. We have fostered several babies, toddlers and young children over the years, experienced many things and have been greatly fortunate in our life. Have had many ups and downs. Generally experienced life while having gifts through the foster care system. Fostering is such an abundant and joyful experience when you are able to be involved with the process to watch a child be reunified with their parents, grandparents and relatives or placed with adoptive parents. Do not get me wrong it is also a bittersweet process too. Plus being part of the process to see a mother and father lose their child under any circumstance is very overwhelming. Then becomes all too real when you are the adoptive parents. Bittersweet is such an understatement!

We as adoptive parents have closed adoptions, though we choose to maintain contact with our children's families. In my heart it is the right decision and the most important for our children. We now have a huge extended family. GOD could have placed any child with us, but he chose to place the children we have. I have learned so much, been humbled in many ways, been down many roads, I continue to deal with my own disability daily and it works (not always..lol) and I am reminded many times there is still so much more.

I wake up each day and know that I have experience child birth, blessed beyond belief as some are not so fortunate then I think I am more blessed as we have been given blessings of the heart many times over. As I continue to walk my path along with my husband and children, I (we) will continue to foster or adopt if called upon but it will be as our family unit! GOD BLESS

"The love of a foster mother for her charge appears absolutely irrational.” - Winston S. Churchill

“Families don’t have to match. You don’t have to look like someone else to love them.” - Leigh Anne Tuohy”  

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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