Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Raising the White Flag

When is it time to raise the white flag with your teenager? Having teenagers has been a true test for me. One that I am constantly asking myself, GOD, friends, family, what am I doing right or wrong? I do find some comfort that I am not the only parent that goes through the ups and downs of the teenage years. Interesting enough, I usually find myself engulfed in my little's daily schedule but truthfully my teenagers are just as time consuming as the four little ones. Having one in college that we barely have contact with, one at home getting ready to go to college and one with a couple more years until college; all three teenagers combined seem to keep my schedule jammed packed; emotionally, mentally and physically. I have to honestly say they are sometimes more work than the little's, even with less activities, events, homework and just daily life.

Being the baby of eight, I have four brothers and three sisters; my household was always moving and shaking. However, my brother next in line, having a nine year gap between us; so, when I seemed to be the last in the house, I thought whoop whoop! The beginning of my teenage years. Hold on it was going to be a wild ride! Boy did I give my parents a run for their money so I thought, I thought I knew everything, boy I was wrong. I did and still do have awesome parents (my mother resting in heaven now). They were very open with me and communication meant everything, if I tried to pass anything by them especially my father, it just did not fly. They just seem to always find out everything. Plus, my mother had this saying always with a smile, be careful life comes back tenfold. Well, I have to agree wholeheartedly.

Meaning, I left my parents home after graduating high school early to spread my wings. I could not move out fast enough. I was on my own and I thought I knew more than my parents. I listened to what they said but I really did not listen at all. I flew into adulthood and as much I liked it, it hated it too. I really missed my parents along with their imaginary money tree that always seems to be there when I needed it. Truth be told, I really did not get what my parents were saying until I had my first child. Though I was responsible, was employed, on my own but truly having a child was the point when I really grew up. Not only was I responsible for myself, now no matter what the future held for David and me, I would be responsible for another. A scary place to be when you still have so much to learn, so much to do. 

Hence my own teenagers; remembering back at my teenage years, I am getting a dose of what I gave my parents and then some but I do also believe all teenagers have to experience something in life. A life lesson, though it may be subtle, it may be huge but somewhere in their life it happens before they are hit with the thoughts of "what am I doing or what am I thinking; it's time to change, grow up and figure things out." Part of the cycle of life. As a mother we hope and pray that everything always works out no matter what situation; good or bad.

Prior to being a stay at home mother, where my life was engulfed in work, having children, I would say it was more important to be at home or more available when my children were teenagers as it may be easier for them to find situations or places not to be at (speaking from my own experiences). Well today, it does not matter, your babies need you, your toddlers need you, your teenagers need you and at times your adult children need you. If you are able to stay at home or have a schedule to be flexible to know what your child is doing then be on it. If you are working be involved, you are still able to know what goes on in your child or teenager's life...Welcome Social Media!!!!

Twenty years ago, God put me at a fork in the road, the path he had for me then and has for me now has been a path of ups and downs nevertheless I am thankful for everything; my successes and my mistakes as without both I would not have the life I have today. Parenting never ends no matter the age. As I have stated before there is no parent handbook, manual or reference book like the "What to Expect When Your Expecting?" book. Every day is a new day, it is your choice to make a change, to learn something new, to have fun and be positive. Whatever your choice maybe, do it with full conviction! Remember this little saying....

Mom and Dad - I Love You!

Age 10 - I Love You!
Age 14 - You are So Annoying!
Age 18 - I cannot wait to Leave This House...
Age 25 - You were Right...
Age 30 - Please, Forgive Me?
Age 50 - I do not want to Lose You, Mom and Dad...
Age 70 - I Love You SO Much!


Until Next Time...Make it a Great Day!

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