Saturday, September 26, 2015

Everyday of the Unknown


This morning came across my Facebook page an article titled "My Son Has the Kind of Autism No One Talks About" by blogger Bonnie Zampino. (The link is posted for you to read as well)  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bonnie-zampino/is-autism-the-real-public_b_8191918.html. This article truly hits home. Having three children on the Autism spectrum, all with various degrees, I have been through this and continue to go through this. It is hard to comprehend and to process that at any given moment something may or may not trigger a tackle, throw of an object, a hit or an elopement of some kind.

Our days consistent of routines but as we all know things can and do change. Anyone who knows having an autistic child change is a major issue. Changes can cause many things, meltdowns, elopement, screams, crying, behavior changes, etc. With all that said, what about when you are just outside playing and change happens there, then what? Right, then what? Parents are supposed to know their children the best so if your children have behavioral changes then it is the parent's responsibility to ensure everyone's safety. We have had to do this in the past, made several changes with how we did things and how we approached things. Today, our autistic teenager has overcome many obstacles but a lot of road blocks were on the way. He still has things he battles but we just have our routines on how we battle them. Every day is a learning process.

Now being on the spectrum road again, we are figuring out what works though I have not completely isolated us; I have changed how I approach things and what we do. We have stopped going to church (we watch on livestream) as I cannot leave him in the social setting as he needs one and one. Play dates are minimal as it needs to be in a controlled setting. When we go to the park, I am right there like glue making sure there is distance from others. Kids could be playing in the sand including his own siblings and he just grabs and takes, possibly hits and elopes. I am there to ensure that does not happen. Most of the time I am successful but I miss a few. Nobody is perfect and there is a lot of redirection. He is obsessed with balls or just running around so I direct him in those types of things while my other children play other things. Nothing is fool proof but improvising comes in handy, definitely not the mom you see sitting on the bench drinking coffee talking to the other mom about their week or what will be for dinner while their kids are off playing.

Their brains are wired differently.

Truly the kids all can be playing and next thing you know a toy is flying across the room or at your face. I now have things I watch for but I have to say I do not always catch it or see it and things fly. I have been hit many times, many times without warning, the therapist in our home have been hit just out of the blue; the part that is hard is the understanding of why it is happening, there really is none.

Their brains are wired differently.

The kids can be playing and running around and next thing I know, a full running push to whoever is right in front for no rhyme or reason. Once I catch him (I am not very fast now), we talk about it as that is not nice, do I am sorry, we do not hit or push our sissy, brother or our friend, we have done time out, then two second later it happens again. This can happen over and over and over almost as it just does not click.

Their brains are wired differently.

Interesting part he can be sitting, next thing jump up, jump on, jump where ever. If someone was sitting there oh well. It does not matter. If he wants to lay on someone, oh well it is his world and to him that is okay. To see it this on a day-to-day basis, it is not done to be malicious or done to hurt anyone, these actions are done no awareness of social etiquette or social clue. Then factor in the part of high pain tolerance or no feeling of pain. That in itself is an issue.

Their brains are wired differently.

When it all comes down to it, the autism spectrum is wide. Many sides, good and bad but maybe the next time when you hear the screaming child at the grocery store, the child eloping and screaming "I hate you" or the child hitting and running away with the sand toys at the park or a child who appears to be having a tantrum in the parking lot (Is it a tantrum or meltdown? Do you even know the difference?). Maybe think a little differently as this maybe this is the only time they came out to a public setting for the week or maybe the parent had enough courage to try again. I have been there just recently too. I have received the looks, the stares, heard the comments but nevertheless these my beautiful children.

My children brains are wired differently.

GOD BLESS...Until Next Time Make it A Day

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