I recently came across on social media about another special needs mother expressing how she did not have the ideal situation of a "normal" life with her children. It reminded me of my children especially my son who is autistic (one of three). He has a ritual a couple of times a week to destroy his sisters' room if left unattended for a minute. Usually will happen when the bathroom is calling and most of the toys are stuff animals...I have learned. He loves to hear things crash though he hates loud piercing noises but breaking noises is a much different story. So, I had to stop and think about her words. I really thought about it for most of the day. I thought about commenting but I refrained as I really did not know what to say. Bringing the question does anyone have a "NORMAL LIFE"?
I say this wholeheartedly as I look back prior to fostering and/or adopting when my husband and I had only our homegrown children. When we had one child. We thought life was great at times then the end of the world at others then baby number two came and more stuff to pack, a bigger car, more accessories and more expenses. Do not get me wrong we were happy, a boy and a girl and a dog; our perfect little family, right? Yes but No, chaos was always lurking around the corner.
Then baby number three came, odd number! Oh, he was loved and looked after liked no other but as I have always said take one out of the mix or add one in to make the number even, somehow the chaos seems to always change.
With great jobs, three awesome children while learning the aspects of Asperger's with our third child, a beautiful home; a monkey wrench was thrown into our mix then while throwing the wrench back we wanted to give back by way of fostering. While we were on that path we were blessed through adoption.
Now with a large family, I will admit, we do make changes in the way we do things. The way we eat out, the way we vacation (long weekend stays), the way we grocery shop, how we schedule things and more so since we have special needs children but nevertheless every child needs structure special needs or not.
Leading back to my original question, does anyone have a "normal life"? Well, my theory is everyone's household has a degree of normalcy and a degree of chaos. Whether one child or eight, yes eight. Our household has grown by one in the past couple of weeks. This change has required changes in schedules, which having Autistic children has been transitions that we have done in baby steps. Interesting making things work but that has not gone without being organized and task orientated as that keeps things all in perspective. However, when things do go astray I just need to remember to stay calm. More excitement more the fire fuels!
When all the dust settles, I do take a time out, so remember this for yourself...go with your girlfriend or even by yourself, you deserve it....nothing like having pretty nails and toes or just Grab a Coffee, even five minutes of revitalization will do wonders!!! Then do not forget Date Night with your Spouse or Significant Other, this little aspect tends to go unnoticed a lot but so very important! Last but not least do not forget some of your favorite treats...like mine, Black and Red Licorice, Gummy Bears and Frozen Hershey Bars!
Life is nothing without a little chaos to make it interesting.”
― Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
GOD BLESS. Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!
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