The Struggle Is Real - Missing You!


A few days ago our family celebrated what would have been our mothers 83rd Birthday. Meaning she is an Angel in Heaven now. Everyday, I believe she is with us all, watching, being with us somehow every moment of the day.

Over the last two years since her departure from our real world it has been somewhat of a struggle for me. I miss her tremendously. I have said it over and over. In conversation, in my posts, in my writings. She was my rock, my sounding board, my reasoning when I just needed someone tell me it would be okay when I really knew it was not. Do not get me wrong, I have my husband who I love dearly. We have been through a lot. I can confide in him about anything but honestly it is just not the same.

She is My Mother!

I sit here and think how much she has been missing but is she really missing? How many birthdays, holidays, weddings, new births, special moments, first milestones of the my Little's, moments for all her grandchildren's/great-grandchildren's to the first steps into the real world of something but again is she really missing?

She is Their Grandmother!

Then I wonder about my Father and how he has managed over these last two years. I see him often and speak to him quite frequently. When we speak of her, I see his eyes fill with tears and can hear the toll it has taken. The emotion of missing her and how much he truly misses her. The validation that you truly appreciate of someone only to fully recognize when that someone is no longer with you.

She is His Wife!

For my all sibling's, we still all hold crazy schedules, but I know I have watchers just as my mother wished for. For that I am forever grateful. For the sibling's I am not able to see as often as we are capable, I know that we are all connected in spirit furthermore thankful for social media and technology.

She is Our Mother!

For my crazy big family, I was given great opportunities to learn many times over on being a wife and mother while being blessed with a beautiful women who showed love, compassion, honesty, to believe in your faith, strength, friendship, pride, humor to name a few but best of all she was always there no matter what time of day. It did not matter, even if you would call and she could not talk she would find a moment and then politely state for another time. Basically in a nut shell, she always found the time.

She is My Mother!

Yes, the struggle without her is real. It is not just because her birthday has passed along with the many reminders thanks to social media or the fact that I speak of her daily to the kiddos as the hummingbird at our sliding glass door. I do miss her, I do catch myself picking up the phone to call her to tell her something exciting that has just happened or wanting to call her to ask her for help, needing an opinion for our current situation or just wanting to let her know that yet again her family has grown. She is truly missed. Until we meet again.

You are My MOTHER! YOU ALWAYS WILL BE!

No Matter your Age, You Always Need Your Mom - Author Unknown

I Love You Always and Forever Mom! GOD BLESS

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!

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He Looks Just Like Every Other Teenager

Everyday there is a call that I have to make for for something. I mean a call for an appointment, a therapy service, a reminder for this and that when it comes to our Little's but when a call needs to be placed for our teenager it strikes a cord within.

I am speaking about our little but not so little guy. Yes meaning our teenager who has been diagnosed with Asperger's now it is all on the Autism Spectrum. The day he was born, I could tell you then something was quite not right. Having been our third born child, we were semi pros right? He did not want to be swaddled. What newborn does not want to be swaddled and held? Not our son, he wanted to be free range and definitely not laying in the hospital isolette. When it was time to nurse, it was a game, he needed to be stripped to a diaper, his feet pitched and even then it was a task to eat.

At first, I thought it was me and all the medication that was given to me from the time I was thirteen weeks pregnant to keep him from being born too early but after a bout of jaundice he made his way home where his quirkiness continued. So, me being me, resourceful, he began in-home early intervention therapies. All the while not knowing a thing about autism. By the age of three is where the first diagnosis came then the fight to learn, advocate and how to become resilient began.

I commend my son, how I would love to be in his mind for just a mere minute. Just to have a glimpse of his thought process. The where, what and why of things. How does he put things together? What make his mind spin and his ability to stream things together is uncanny. Many times over the years, I have had to explain his situation due to something that has happened. At times apologize for something he did and apologize for something he did not do but only because he was there. It is crazy because I am always baffled by someones expression or comments. Comments of, "did not know he was autistic, well he looks normal" or "he is just acting out for attention" or "he is getting great grades, would have not known it" or "better yet he does not comes across as being autistic". Really? What is wrong with people? Well, I stopped asking that along time ago.

Well first of all let me say, what is normal to anyone's standards? Second, does anyone who does not truly know the definition or the characteristics of autism know what being on the autism spectrum is? Lastly, does anyone outside our home truly know my son have a right to say anything. I say this because as he has for many many years he has had to adapt in general setting of life of what "normal people" take for granted.

Believe me it has not be easy, watching from inside and outside. Especially being a mother, his mother! With having older children who were invited to the monthly birthday parties or hanging out with friends then with our guy who is happy doing his own thing, being glued to X-Box, Play Station or whatever the new technology is at the moment. However, his source of group activity comes from striving at sports because my husband never stopped pushing and started him at a young age to empower himself to never quit but it also has another side to that where we have had to also help him learn that losing is okay and being a team player is just that a team and there has been a lot of work instilling that. Though there are times he does step out of his comfort zone to do things with in the "social aspects" of life but our world is not always user friendly and this takes work, work everyday.

Yes, we have done things differently when it came to therapy because a diagnosis of Asperger was not recognized in the DSM as a true diagnoses of Autism those many years ago. Now as it falls under the Autism Spectrum per the DSM-V thus there are more resources available. Believe me there is still the fight to obtain those resources. However, it does not matter, we will continue to advocate. You figure you do not come to a point to stop or turn back but there the times when you want to but you are so grateful for the help, services and people that have bent over backwards and beyond to get you through an issue or situation to better help our child which keeps the will to fight there.

His understanding that the world does not really consist of the in between gray matter as his world mainly consists of black and white. Needless to say everyday, is a new day. A new day of the unknown. To that I am thankful is he is pretty straightforward and very smart. Always analyzing something. Numbers, football stats, people. Observing someone, something or someplace, whatever the case maybe he is his own person trying to be his "normal".

With that said, our teenage son looks just like any other teenager just trying to get through; an only difference maybe, one you cannot see, he is on the Autism Spectrum along with three of his siblings and many others throughout the world. I ask before you speak, judge or think you know of a situation or circumstance; please take a moment, smile, be kind and think before you speak because you just do not know what that teenager, child, mother, father, grandparent, caregiver or sibling just happened to be going through.

Love you Little One, To the Moon and Back - GOD BLESS

“The most interesting people you’ll find are ones that don’t fit into your average cardboard box. They’ll make what they need, they’ll make their own boxes,” Dr. Temple Grandin
 “This is a FOREVER journey with this creative, funny, highly intelligent, aggressive, impulsive, nonsocial, behavioral, often times loving individual. The nurse said to me after 6 hours with him ‘He is a gift’ INDEED he is,” Janet Frenchette Held, Parent

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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The New Year Time to Embrace 2017

Today is day one of 2017, a beginning of a New Year! What a ride 2016 has been. Honestly, hard to believe another year down, birthday's and anniversary's celebrated along with new milestones met along the way. In other words, Life Happened in a Blink of an Eye!

As Hubby and I took to date night last night to kindly reminisce on 2016 memories while spending some time together, we are happily celebrating the new year low key style.
Looking back at our 2016, with many ups and downs that we rode through, I am so very thankful everyday for our life.

I was fully reminded of this couple of weeks ago while having a conversation with a stranger while waiting at the DMV.  He commented that I was too young to be carrying a cane, well I would love to have agreed but my awesome pink or black cane (depending on the day) has been my side kick for over twelve years now. In that statement came a short version of why I walk with a cane but all in all we were both reminded that something or someone may have things not as well off.

I post many times that life is an up and down roller coaster. I am the first to say, we have been in the down part of the roller coaster not knowing if the climb up would happen. However, I can say with much perseverance, prayers, hard work, patience (not always easy for me), support in each other and never giving up the up hill climb came. So whatever the 2016 year was for you, the good, bad or ugly, take your experiences, make the most of them, use your time wisely and continue to move forward through all of it. Remembering written goals are much more achievable than spoken goals. Try a step out of your "normal box", make a change if things are complacent and if you do resolutions, do them, just do not say them!

Life does go by in a blink of an eye, nothing happens without action or sometimes major changes. With this sometimes comes errors, but then can come success too. Fear of the unknown is in all of us, some more than others but take a leap of faith here is a brand new year to make things happen. Embrace 2017 and make every minute count!

Wishing Peace, Happiness, Joy and Many Blessings to All...Happy New Year! GOD BLESS

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. Helen Keller

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something. - Neil Gaiman
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!




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Rounding Out Our Family Adventure Trip - What A Whirlwind of a Blast!!!

Yes, I am late on posting the last of the my journals for the last of our Family Adventure Trip. Things have been busy and trying to get everyone everywhere and make sure we get everything we can do in the last bit of time we have. I am one tired person. Not really feeling so great but keeping it all together. Smile I always say, remember to take one minute at a time.
I am also not going to say it was easy travels. Especially travelling with children who are on the spectrum or have special needs or with me who does not always feel the best. We have had some issues here and there, but I will say one thing I do not let any of it define who we are, any of us. I did not let my CRPS/RSD define me and I will not let any disability or need define my children. I want them to experience things just like anyone else. It may not be easy at times, it may take extra work, things may need some redirection or thinking outside the box but that is life because in a nutshell, what is normal to anyone’s definition?
So I am finishing in one fell swoop. As we woke up on Day Five, we were blessed with the gorgeous sun shinning. No Rain! So excited that I tried to extend our trip on the Island but there was some issues with the airline so we ended up keeping our existing reservations. Funny that it worked out in the end because the next day the sky was not so sunny and beautiful, it was back to the rain and overcast skies. Goes to show you my theory things happen for a reason.
However with the hot gorgeous sun shining in full glory, the big kids took to the beach and spent some time on their own while my husband and I took the Little's to the sand beach pool for the day. Some down time for everyone especially when were going to our rescheduled Luau for the evening. Getting everyone out the door at a specific time and making sure all are dressed for the occasion is not such an easy task. But we did it and made it to the Luau.



I Love my family. My Crazy Big Family! - Though the family got the nickname of "The Tribe" while we were on the Island - Rather fitting for our Stay!
We are a big little group (tribe) and it is no easy task going anywhere but we do it together. Attending the luau was a great experience, my little girls danced and watched as the music and dancers performed. The boys watch with big eyes as the fire dance was done like it was second nature. I would recommend the experience to anyone, if you have not been to a Luau. If you have an opportunity to attend, make sure you make the experience. The Show, The Food, The Teachings and The Overall Welcoming of the People we encountered! You will not regret it!
Mahalo!

Nobody wants a vacation to come to an end but sometimes I think you need a vacation from the vacation. I am not looking forward to putting away the several bags of luggage but it is what it is...I am sure a couple of days of waiting will not hurt anyone. Right? Waiting too long and the clothes might not ever get put away….maybe if I sprinkle pixie dust I might get lucky...Kidding! Nevertheless, making the most of our last day, packing and shopping, we took time to have breakfast as family at the resorts Bistro Restaurant with the company of a new acquaintance "Rip". Like I said previously, we were blessed with meeting some amazing people!
Aloha and Mahalo

As we come up on the end of our family adventure trip, watching from the sky on our way back to our Home, I am thankful beyond belief for the time that I was given with my big crazy family (tribe), that we were granted and blessed with safe travels and all the memories we made together. I look forward to many more get-a-ways, whether short or long, anytime together is worth it. As I always say, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised and all we have is right now. So make every minute count by loving, laughing, crying, smiling and never stop being a family! GOD BLESS

 “Love your family. Spend time, be kind & serve one another. Make no room for regrets. Tomorrow is not promised & today is short.” - Unknown
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!



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A Day into Our Family Adventure though Almost Missed a Majestic Scene

With day four of our of family adventure to an end and our day starting out late, I can definitely say we saw spectacular views of the Big Island. Though we were going back and forth on staying around the resort due to time, needless to say, we took the chance. We all decided to make the two hour drive to the other side of the island. So very happy that we made the decision to do so.


Driving to our designation, seeing the pristine beauty of the environment, just absolutely breathtaking. Though the weather was not sunny, something about the rain, animals along the roadside and fog had its own way of pure essence then there was the Little's asking many times over when are we going to get there. Classic road trip. During the drive I found as we passed two cemeteries along the way, there was a sense of nostalgia of holiness in the air as you passed the land. The little hairs on the back on my neck and arms stood up. Blessings to those who are buried at those cemeteries; may you rest in peace.
Finally,  as we approached the Hawaii Volcano National Park, the rain decided to downpour, my husband and I both said should we even go in as we are going to get drench. Was it worth paying to see if we were not going to get out of the cars? There was just that little something inside the pit of my stomach that said you have come this far, do not turn back now. Knowing there was a visitor center and the museum, we chanced it. Boy I am so glad we did.


Visitor Center not so much to see but driving back in to the park to the look-out point and the parks museum; there is no words to describe. The rain stopped for all of us to get out and see the active volcano. Honestly I do not think if the sun was shining would we have been able to see the full effects. Active lava, steam all around and hearing the rumbles as we all looked in awe. Like I said no words to really explain.


Upon us leaving to return back to the resort, we all listened to the Little’s converse on how the “laga” their word for hot lava was going to explode and flow on all of us and our cars. So awesome to hear what comes out of the mouths of Little's...their conversation and the “laga” was the center of attention for most of the night. To see the wonder in their eyes and on their faces, makes this trip more priceless. We have made many memories but when they speak among themselves (big and little) about the experiences that they have encountered makes it worth it thousand times over. For that I am one Happy, Blessed, Grateful, Humbled Mother and Wife! GOD BLESS

 “There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” ― Walt Streightiff
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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And The Family Adventure Continues...Zipline

Waking up today, day three of our family adventure, the weather was warm though raining. The atmosphere was calm. Surprising, right? I have to admit, the time change has played a part which I did not think it would. It is backwards here, two hours. Now I am feeling like I am starting to play catch up everywhere, well really everyone is. I bet, when we when fully adjust to the time change here it will be time to return home to our normal time zone. Funny how that works.

Anyhow, yes we are about half way through the trip and today is also my hubby's birthday it was to be a busy day of adventures. I did a bit of overbooking with a zipline adventure and a luau but it all seem to work out as the luau was rescheduled for Sunday. Weather issues!

As I am not able to zipline, I stayed back to watch with the baby and our two year old; everyone else was set to go on the zipline at Umauma Falls. Wow, what an experience! Even for me who was not zip lining. My family, the seven who were signed up for ziplining including the little's, received an amazing experience of nine ziplines. I was able to watch as I was graced by being driven around from the Operations Manager from Umauma Falls...we definitely got the VIP treatment today! I would have never been able to walk the falls or the grounds for the matter. So today was so much better than I could have ever expected. We met some amazing people, seen some spectacular views of God's creations and learned so much about the island!


A Huge THANKS and Shout Out to the Umaume Falls Guides who took care of my big and little's on the ziplines and the staff who were all completely welcoming and wonderful. 
Mahalo!


Here is the beauty in the ziplines and fun that I was able to see first hand...there are some crazy lines. With my VIP tour, (lol), I was able to watch everyone zip but then I watched one of little's go from guide to no guide that boy is fearless. To my big kids, you all did awesome, upside, sideways, every way down the line but smiles never ending! By the way thank you for getting the spider out of my hair. That would have been a not so fun experience later.


After all said and done, on our way back to the resort, we stopped off at a local pizza place Underground Pizza. Have to say, Great Pizza. People coming and going, phone never stopped ringing and just two gentlemen holding down the fort. Our family took up the entire corner of the restaurant. While sitting there, we spoke with a local family briefly sitting next to us. What I found really awesome was the owners knew everyone's first names and some orders by memory to boot, now that is customer service. Great way to end our exciting day of ziplining! Good Night and God Bless.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” - Eleanor Roosevelt


Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Our Family Trip Adventure...It is Finally Here!

I am taking a well deserved minute to sit here an enjoy a view that is beyond beautiful. Sitting here, I thought I would take this minute and share. While enjoying the view and the serene beauty of this island; in the distance of our suite, I hear the pitter-patter of little feet, water crashing from the resort's pool water fall and the wind rustling in the palm frawn's. This share is coming from our family trip adventure. This big field trip adventure, our vacation, is finally here and it feels surreal.

One that I am completely humbled by. I am grateful that my husband actually took the time off from work, I am grateful, we have the way and means to plan and save (quit awhile) to take this adventure and last but not least I am
trying to figure out how to enjoy and savor every minute of the time especially having ten of us all together.

Thus, meaning not everyone is on the same schedule, not everyone is wanting to do the same thing, not everyone is wanting eat or some want to eat all day, some want to go to this excursion while some want to just hang out on beach or better yet trying to get some out of bed is a task!

Nevertheless, my husband and I have all of our children (except our eldest) along with our nephew together and for that this family trip adventure is truly priceless.

So here is a breakdown of Our Family Trip Adventure...about nine months ago the planning started. Before I knew it the thirty day count down was on, then the thoughts of the unknown started, especially listening and reading to all the horror stories of travelling with little's but here we are, WE MADE IT without little incident!!!

Bringing me back to how I used plan trips before my crazy big family as well my accident, yes it took planning but this family trip took work. Boy, I am tired, my CRPS/RSD is not happy and I can honestly can say all the steps to get here has taken a toll on me. However, I cannot change my disability, my pain is not magically disappearing, I cannot change my situation but what I can say is that I make sacrifices for my family; making this family trip adventure no stone left un-turned. I had no sleep for forty eight hours leading up to getting on the plane, my knee in it full color of purple with hues of red and burning like I cannot explain.

Then to think we almost missed our flights because I read the flight information wrong, thank goodness check in was a day before otherwise who knows what would have happened. Regardless, we were off to the airport really early. I have to say after all a day of flying THE KIDS WERE AWESOME, no horror air flight stories here... it was really nice to finally arrive to our tropical destination.

Plus, I do have to say, everyone we encountered has been super nice. An extra shout out to our rental car associate, she was super awesome. She handwrote us a map with all the cool local spots. Leaving the rental car place with many great spots to Visit, Eat and Big Hug, 
Day One, Success....Mahalo! 


With Day two coming to end, I share this these memories as wonderful as they are. Encounters of laughter, along with new experiences that have brought smiles to all of our faces. With many things planned in a short period of time, some things may or may not get done, whatever the outcome, memories and special moments are being made. I am soaking it all in even going out of my comfort of zone of the beach (if you do not know, sand is not my friend) but today our experience the black sand beach was a fascinating. We found rocks and shells you just do not find in California and to see all the different Lava Rock formations, just so Cool!

 
Now off to dinner, one thing, the food experience is unbelievable. Sometimes I think when there is too many choices makes the the choosing more difficult but not complaining here. By the way, our resort has wildlife friends, free roaming cats and goats, the kids, love them it, they are trying to name all of them, well see how that works.

Stayed tuned for tomorrow's adventures of Day Three...Good Night and God Bless


“Life's short. Eat dessert first, work less and vacation MORE!!”  Lea Mishell
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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New Journey of Wedding Bliss


Today is a very special day as today would have been my parents forty-eighth wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! However, today is a day that has been on my mind for a while. Truly, it is not just remembering my parents anniversary or start over a year and half ago when my first born son proposed to his high school sweetheart. This day has always sat in the back of my mind on the shelf of my thinking who would take my place and love my son as much as I. Today, he is getting married to his love, his high school sweetheart, the young woman who has loved him through thick and thin and who continues to walk with him through the good and bad.

I may not have not gotten to see their relationship blossom with the estrangement that we have had but we are taking the steps to figure that out on moving ahead one day at a time; right now, I am good with that. Knowing my son, he does not do anything without going all in. So today, our family whether we have been estranged a time or not, we are gaining a daughter, a sister and more importantly an extended family. As one thing I know my son it not just marrying his love and vice versa he is marrying all of her and that includes family.

I do not know if it was different an era ago but my Mother called my Father's mother, Mom but I was not afforded that with my mother-in-law and neither were my sister-in-law's with my husband's Mother. I did some research before writing this post and it appears it is not that common as it was. Is the word Mother/Mom/ Mama so sacred? Though I do not have any expectations of any of my children's spouses or significant others calling me, Mom, Mama or Mother, I do want them to feel like home in our house just as our children do. To know they have a place to come if need be.

I will be always be there no matter what, if needed, standing on the sidelines watching their relationship grow. Listening to my son in time of need, moving in the direction to repair our relationship together and as a family. Nevertheless, my son's new wife is taking a special place today, though he will always be our first born, she is the "new Mrs.'s", carrying our name. It is her turn to love him like no other, to pray and walk the path that God has set forth, to cry and laugh, to listen and communicate and to protect him, watch over him and tell him all will be okay. My part as a Mother and Mother-in-Law is to love them both unconditionally and be there always. To support their relationship and to pray for success. To watch their journey of life together unfold. To be a babysitter and spoil the little ones they bring into the world when the time comes (hopefully not for a few years - enjoy your newlywed stage for a while. Truly I can say I am scared of losing my son but honestly he was raised to open his wings and fly. He is doing just that with her right by his side. I know in my heart Life will still be a roller coaster ride, with the ups and downs but all will continue to work with love, tears, smiles, communication, the act of listening and the support of family, All family. Today I am forever grateful to be a Mother and now a Mother-in-Law!

Congratulations, to my son and his love - Chase and Kylie

With Much Love ... GOD BLESS

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Tribute to Our "Red-Heads"

In our Family, we have three that get to celebrate today as it is National Red Head Day, November 5, 2016.
Our Little who we always say is a ball of spit fire, I say is it the red hair or is it just him. A little bit of both, I will say! Nevertheless, having red hair and stunning blue eyes, the sun is not his friend along with many other things that he comes in contact with. Never mind the high pain tolerance he exhibits and his uncanny way of doing things. He is on the Autism Spectrum. He have a love for everything which is great but not so great at times. Those not so great times gets him in trouble because he knows no boundaries; personal or safety. He definitely gives us a run for our money...love you little one to the Moon and Back! Happy National Red Head Day!

My Late Mother...there was not a day that did not go by that I did not see my late Mother with Red Hair. I say that as with as many times we have the opportunity to make changes at the hair stylist. She never strayed from her natural hair color, RED! She stayed true to herself and kept to the Red! She ROCKED It! With her piercing blue eyes and fair skin color, sun was not her friend either but she was always a trooper when it came to outside activities with her kids when we were little or when she became a "Grammie" she just rolled up her pants and lathered on the sunscreen and found the shade. I miss her every moment but I know she is right here with me and all the Kiddos. Love you Mom, always and forever! Happy National Red Head Day!
To My Husbands Aunt who has been a Free Spirit and A Peace Keeper in the Family. You have been a great wealth of wisdom and guidance for spirituality Always keeping your head held high. Love you Always! Happy National Red Head Day!
Happy National Red Head Day to Our Gingers and To All The Reds Across the World! Today is Your Day, November 5, 2016. Fact is the Holiday was started by two redheaded sisters who wanted to help other gingers embrace and love their fiery locks.
To help celebrate, here are nine fun facts about redheads:
  1. The highest concentration of redheads is in Scotland (13%) followed by Ireland (10%). Worldwide, only 2% of the population has red hair.
  2. People with red hair are likely more sensitive to pain. This is because the gene mutation (MC1R) that causes red hair is on the same gene linked to pain receptors. It also means redheads usually need more anesthesia for dental and medical procedures.
  3. Having red hair isn't the only thing that makes some redheads unique. They are also more likely to be left handed. Both characteristics come from recessive genes, which like to come in pairs.
  4. Redheads probably won't go grey. That's because the pigment just fades over time. So they will probably go blonde and even white, but not grey.
  5. Rumor says Hitler banned marriage between redheads. Apparently he thought it would lead to "deviant offspring."
  6. Redheads most commonly have brown eyes. The least common eye color: blue.
  7. Bees have been proven to be more attracted to redheads.
  8. Being a redheaded man may have health benefits. A study published by the British Journal of Cancer suggested that men with red hair are 54% less likely to develop prostate cancer than their brown and blonde-haired counterparts.
  9. Redheads actually have less hair than most other people. On average they only have 90,000 strands of hair while blonds, for example, have 140,000. However, red hair is typically thicker so they it still looks just as full.
Fact Credits From - www.11alive.com
"We redheads are the minority, we tend to notice each other - you know, and notice our identity." ~ Julianne Moore
GOD BLESS
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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A Brief Moment to Share

Several months back I was approached by one of the local high schools; I was asked if I would share my life experiences to some students for a child development class. My first thought was they have no idea what they were in for then next was how honor I was to be asked.
Many of us whether we have homegrown, foster, kinship or adopted children, we, parents, are all special. We have been entrusted with precious cargo and for that it is such a blessing. However, my life was just getting to be shared with approximately sixty young adults, though some were going near the next chapter in their reality of life, Graduation, College, Leaving the Nest of Parents. The chapter of many but life of starting to begin without the umbrella of parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles or guardians. So much can happen.
Since being a Foster/Adopt parent my eyes have been opened more than once. I have a saying nothing surprises me anymore but then I am shocked when something major does. Interesting life's little curve balls but they are there so when I was asked to be entrusted with high school students for approximately an hour and half of their precious time I became a little nervous. Tough crowd more so than my Little's. Especially in a Big not so Big Community - one that somehow everyone is connected to someone.
For the weeks approaching my speaking date, I thought about what I would talk about and what I could not talk about. Making sure not to break any confidentiality of the sorts. Those who know me I do not hold back, I do not do drama, do not beat around the bush, pretty of matter of fact and when it all comes down to it, Blunt, very Blunt! Thinking of all of that I did not want to bore anyone but if in the end if I am not true to who I am then nothing else matters boring or not.
Finally, I received the call. Not one date to speak, two dates are on the calendar now the stakes were high and the pressure was on. For me the nerves began to set in along with excitement to get the time to share in these moments. The day arrived, as I dressed the Little's, I also asked my twenty year old daughter to join me. She had taken this journey right along with me and was a wealth of knowledge. Plus not so sure how the Little's were going to do with strangers overseeing them while I did the speaking so familiar face would not hurt as well.
We were off like a heard of turtles, slow but off, since my car keys had seem to disappear right before we were set leave. This is one of the instances that happens often to due one Little's obsession with things that rattle. Nevertheless, the spare worked just fine and we made it. Arrived, Little's, three in the wagon, one in the pack, off trekking through the school campus, eyes gazing and knowing in my mind the outline of subjects to speak of; effects of drugs, foster/adoption process pertaining to our situation, my continued relationship with the birth families, any sacrifices we have made and overall our day to day crazy schedule.
On both days, we were graciously greeted by a room full of young ladies and gentlemen. Patiently waiting to see what I was going to say. As I stated before the pressure was high. Young adults are not an easy speaking crowd. However, I do have to say, in the very short period of an hour and half, I spoke about the topics at hand, shared about our family, multi-tasked with my Little's and was happy as many questions were asked but the real happiness came about two weeks later when I received handwritten thank you notes from both classes. At any rate to be asked to share our story was an honor. I also believe anyone can say thank you by just writing "thank you" on the note but when someone takes the time to write more than those two words it definitely says something. Since, receiving those notes, I have re-read them several times as there are comments as to "how my speaking blessed someone and changed their view on special needs", "how I inspired someone", "how someone admired my strength", "how my speaking help someone choose their path into social work" or "my speaking was a real eye opener".
I have always said and continue to say, I am no different than the next person down the road who parents, our path that we are on just may be a little different. A roller coaster of the sort. It is hard enough to be parent of your homegrown children let alone be foster parents of someone else's children, be an advocate of special needs or needs of something daily or just PARENT. However, every child needs to be given that chance they are not asked for some of the circumstances they are brought into. I remind myself daily there is not any handbook, though many self help books and resources but no manual, so really everything is trial and error and with that said, in the mean time I will continue to do whatever it takes to Love, Advocate, Laugh, Cry and Smile with ALL with the Kiddos - Big and Small! I am forever grateful for the opportunity that I have been given to share my story, Thank you Mrs. M. and Her Classes! You Rock!!! GOD BLESS
"Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it." ~ Ralph Marston
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day 
 
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Off to the Store for Just a "Couple of Things", Really?

When I was little a quick trip to the local store was never quick, despite my mother saying she only need a couple of things. As a family, we would sit in the car, not always patiently waiting, upon her return she would have many bags of groceries. Yes, the few items she rattled off needing would be in tow but along with many other items as well. During those times, even being little, I swore I never do that.

 Now, many many years later, I find myself in the same situation with my own family. The store is a vital part of our weekly routine, sometimes daily routine. I smile when something we need comes up as all I can hear in my head is my mother saying the same exact thing - only a "couple of things". I really believe my mother only said those words "couple of things" just to pacify her kids and our time spent waiting in the car.

Now, my husband and older kids laugh at me when I say going to the store for a "couple of things" as they know it really is not the case. I am sure to browse the store. Especially if I am not going with the Little's. I admit I do take the time to check out new items, check the sales, look at different ideas in the home decorating department or just browse in general. It is a part of my quiet time ritual. My husband has his time when he gets home from work, I found different ways to take mine.

 Bringing up as there was a time I came across an article pertaining to my local store applying for a license to serve wine at some of the locations....though I am not a big drinker, I found this to be interesting.  When I shop I will walk around with a Pepsi from the Cafe or my Venti 6 pump Mocha Frappuccino with an add shot from Starbucks but what or who is to say a glass of wine every now and again would not be great to browse the aisles. However, I have yet to see this happen at our local store so for now perfectly content with my drinking selections whether the shopping trip is 10:00am or 10:00pm. Creature of habit right here!!!

 I do have to say browsing the aisle and not sticking to the "couple of things" statement does have its setbacks. Finding the in store coupons plastered all over the place mixed with the online specials, adding in the store applications and topping off with text messaging coupons does not help matters. Taking everything into account, I always think I am saving something when I happy to spend the amount listed to save the amount listed in return.

 Nevertheless when I get to the checkout line, I never seem to meet the spent amount. Though I just took the last thirty minutes of my shopping trip ensuring I have met the total because I do not want to hold up the checkout line. Thus having done this once or twice in past already; there always seems to be an issue for something. Items that I chose to buy are not included or the item had another coupon tied to it so that item does not count. Therefore, being so close to the amount needed to receive the savings, I find myself purchasing more. Better yet to realize that in purchasing more of one size of diapers forgot another size of diapers that was so needed. Hence what happened this week; with our house always needing baby items. It was baby items on sale. Does not seem so bad, right? We go through diapers left and right but buying diapers in many sizes all at once always seem to get my shopping cart looks. Usually it is the Little's but several size diapers and many boxes does do trick too. 

No worries, even when someone did ask me upon leaving if all the diapers were for my house? Kindly responded, "while yes they are and to think it is only half of my family". I do not think she expected the answer I gave as she gasped and said "oh my"! Nothing surprises me much anymore. Whether my trip to the local store is for the so-called "couple of things" or it is our planned major shopping trip, I know that no matter what I do; I will always find more than what I originally planned for my "couple of things". Going with a shopping list or not, more power to the shoppers who stay on task. Even being as organized as I am the store is a bit of a downfall but in a good way. 
Loving Retail Therapy in a Weird Way! 
GOD BLESS




Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Sometimes You Need to Just To Be A Kid...

There are moments as for the picture I posted when you just have to join in the laughter, the smiles and the giggles. I may not be able to jump on the bed like a trampoline but I can do the former. As the saying goes "if you cannot beat them, join them".

My little's require a lot and sometimes more than I think I have but there always seems to be something left. Even when my knee is at its worst or the headache that I have had for days that seems as it will never go away. I am reminded I have something in me. Maybe it is just being a Mother, maybe it is pure stubbornness but whatever it is I know the moments that I have come to love are forever priceless. A complete reminder to live in the Moment! 

As I always say Smile, You Never Know What Impact You Might Have On Someone's Day - GOD BLESS

Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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Our Adjustment Period to Back to School



Coming to the end of the second week of driving our own form of a school bus. No really, we are driving our own mini bus to accommodate our large family as I am working on wrapping my mind around the different school schedules. This year having four different school schedule to contend with is no laughing matter. I know that the school district figures a staggering starting bell schedule is the key but not so sure they take into account the school traffic. Can you say Nightmare a hundred times over!

With that said parents are a whole different breed when it comes to driving their precious cargo to school. Believe me it does not matter how old their precious cargo is either. Especially for the first couple of weeks of the school year. This is when many posts can be found on social media reflecting a parent rant or vent of ones morning of being honked at, cursed at for waiting at the cross walk for the children to walk, one took too long to drop off their child in the school zone or the all please slow down, we all are going to the same place, leave earlier if you need to be somewhere our children need to be safe.

The past couple of years, I have been lucky enough to have our daughter be a driver, be involved in a carpool or had awesome neighbors driving one or two of my children when I needed help. If I cannot stress enough, GET INVOLVED IN A CARPOOL if you can. It is a complete lifesaver and you really do not realize how much it helps ALL AROUND!!!! If you find a great carpool group, you will not regret the jump. To the parents who can walk your children to school, this is where I am in envy of you right now, just a little.

Anyhow now with having six of my children in school (though two are off at college), we are all over the place and as much as I am thinking I have the schedules down pat, organization of lunches, breakfast completed for all, each day; I truly am so far from it. We are still adjusting. Sleep for everyone is off and napping for some has come back on the map. Just as a spike in meltdowns has brought my redirection skills to an all-time high. Therapy sessions and any and all other appointments are being worked in. Basically, we were in the Honeymoon Stage for the New School Year!

As we know, change is inevitable. It is the part of the roller coaster ride that we are riding daily. Change of the ride can be sometimes big, sometimes little but whatever the change or transition may be; there is always the choice to make it a great experience even if the change is not so great. Keep a smile on even if it may be hard, smiles are contagious and the energy that you are putting out reflects on the ones around you. The way you handle yourself is how others perceive you. Plus people tend to remember the negative more than the positive. Nevertheless, as we continue to learn everyday whether in school or not, we can take the outcome and inspire the ones around us! GOD BLESS

The mediocre teacher tells. 
The good teacher explains. 
The superior teacher demonstrates. 
The great teacher inspires.
William Arthur Ward
Until Next Time...Make It A Great Day!


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